First Things First

I know many of you have kids in youth sports. I last coached high school basketball in 2009; this year, I have jumped back in as a head coach—and wow, a lot has changed. Four observations:

1) The youth-sports industry feeds on parental anxiety.

There's real money to be made from moms and dads afraid their kids are falling behind. You can pay $40 a month for "speed and plyometric" memberships for 11-year-olds or $100 for a single skills session with a college player. The pitch is simple: if you don't buy in, your child will be left behind.

2) The talent gap is narrowing.

The elites are still elite. But the average player now trains and lifts year-round, so the overall floor has risen. On the whole, kids are a bit faster, stronger, and more skilled than they were a decade ago.

3) Family life often takes a back seat.

To keep pace, many families surrender a lot of autonomy. Practices, games, and travel teams take over the calendar—so much so that the schedule runs the home. Vacations get bumped for weekend tournaments, and if a child skips, parents worry they'll fall behind.

4) Sports vs. Jesus isn't either/or—but it's functioning that way.

A youth pastor told me that in the last ten years, only one family in his ministry chose church over sports when they conflicted. That's striking. It suggests that for many, tournaments and practices are non-negotiable while church involvement is increasingly optional. It's now normal to hear, "Sorry we've been gone; we had a flag football camp the last six weeks."

These trends raise good questions: What story are we telling our kids about what matters most? How do we form habits of faith if gathered worship is the thing we regularly skip? Is there a way to pursue sports with excellence without sidelining spiritual formation?

Some argue—and I often have—that sports build character. In some programs, that's true. But research such as the Hahm–Beller Values Choice Inventory (spanning thousands of athletes over roughly 15 years) suggests a sobering pattern: the longer athletes—male or female—compete, especially in team sports, the lower their scores in moral reasoning tend to be. In other words, sport can build social character (grit, teamwork) while leaving moral character under-formed. At the extreme, college athletes have been shown to demonstrate little development in principles like honesty and justice.

It seems the way we are doing sports is harming us.

Hebrews urges believers not to give up meeting together (Heb. 10:24–25)—a plea originally addressed to Christians facing persecution, not scheduling pressure. Today, pastors make a similar plea, not because people fear for their lives, but because of soccer tournaments, basketball practices, and volleyball matches. Sports themselves aren't the problem; they're a gift. But when the sports calendar is non-negotiable and worship is negotiable, kids hear that loud and clear. Good things make bad gods. They demand—and they punish—when we won't go along with the program.

So let's teach our kids to love their teammates, play hard, and keep first things first. Let's pursue excellence without sacrificing formation. And let's make sure our calendars tell the same story our mouths do about what matters most.